Love
Just wanted to say hi to everyone. I am around and reading, but not commenting a lot. I feel like I am in a really weird place right now. Mostly sad a lot - Saturday was 9 months, only 3 months months until she's been gone a year. So yeah the closer it gets the worse I seem to be dealing with it. There are a few reasons for that I guess - 1) A couple we know just had a baby 2) Another couple we know are pregnant 3) DAMN IT ALL TO HELL I SHOULD BE PREGNANT AGAIN BY NOW FOR GOD'S SAKE!!
I want to be happy for #1 and #2 but it's soooo hard for me - I just feel bitter and angry because what did I ever do to deserve this and I am a good person don't I deserve to have a living breathing child of my own.
Oh well - it is what it is. At least I have my wonderful husband who loves me more than I deserve. He's the best.
6 comments:
Your feelings are understandable with all that you've been through and honestly, it took me A LONG TIME to be truly happy for others ((HUGS))
*hugs*
You do deserve to have a living breathing child of your own. Big Hugs.
Ali, you are feeling so much that's understandable. The infertility and loss just seem like such insults, for lack of a better word. I am sending you hugs and thoughts.
beautiful pic and I understand how hard it can be to be happy for others when you're hurting so much. *hugs*
I hear ya!!! ;) It's so conflicting, and, it shouldn't be. We should be happy...but, I know how hard that feeling is! I struggle with it too. HUGS!
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