I've noticed something about myself in the last week or so. I guess I've really known I was doing it for a while, but it's become more obvious to others which has, of course, in turn brought it more so to my attention.
Everytime someone mentions a newborn, infant or toddler I just kind of shut down. I look down and give off a vibe of "I don't want to be in this conversation anymore".
I don't like that I am doing this, but I don't know how to stop. It hurts my heart too much when I hear people talking about their or others babies. I guess I'm probably not alone in doing this, but wish I could stop.
Next week my boss is coming back to work part-time for 4 wks, then will be back to full time. She will be bringing her BABY (you know the one born in January, the one due 5 weeks before Cadynce was due) until she is 6 months old. Can I just tell you that I am terrified of how I will handle this. I seriously had the thought yesterday that I should quit my job so I don't have to be around the baby. And I can tell you that is soooo not me.
So if I could ask for prayers for strength next week as I get used to being around a baby that is just a few weeks older than our daughter should be, well that would be awesome. I'm scared of what I will do and how I will handle it. Everyone keeps telling me that I am strong and I will make it through it, but I'm really not sure about this.
I hope that it will be better than I think it will, but we shall see.
I hope that you guys are having a good week this week.
16 comments:
It is all just so hard. I will be thinking about you! xx
thinking of you and wishing we could live without the constant reminders of the lives and loves we got a glimpse of but didn't get to keep.
sending you lots and lots of love from someone who understands.
xoxo
That's a really unfair and tough situation for you to have to face. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with being around a baby that is sure to remind you of your loss. I know you're tough enough, but it still seems unreasonable.
You have my prayers and support <3
Saying a prayer...
Just an odd question: why is she bringing her daughter to work? Is that legal?
I'll be praying for the strength you need to get through this. Just be sure to take care of yourself. You aren't alone in not being able to hear about babies. I've heard that many times on Glow. I wish I could give you a hug.
Good luck, Ali. That would be SO incredibly hard. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Gosh, that seems like it's a lot more stress on you then it needs to be. I'm so sorry. I still shut down around newborns. Once they get to be about 6 months old and lose that "new" look, they don't bother me anymore. Any baby that looks like it was just born reminds me of what Baby B looked like and it's too hard. You can only do what you can do. If you need to take lots of breaks and get out of the office, do it. People need to understand that you don't just "get over" losing a child and that walking away from a situation doesn't mean you aren't happy for your co-worker, it's just want you need to do to deal.
Oh, Ali, that's so hard. I'm so sorry - I can't even imagine how hard it would be to face that every single day. I'll be thinking of you - and just know to take all of the time you need.
Oh my. That is such a difficult situation. My heart aches for you. I will be thinking of you next week. xo
Ugh! I shut down too! I know that feeling all too well. I'll be thinking of you next week! I hope your work understands and lets you take lots of breaks or whatever you need to deal. (((HUGS)))
Sending prayers asap! I find myself doing the whole shutting down thing alot too. Its not fair. I wish this wasnt our reality. Just know I'll be thinking of you! *HUGS*
Do what you need to do to protect yourself. Your feelings are normal and completely expected. Allow yourself to feel the way your do. *Hugs*
*hugs* That has got to be challenging. I will be praying for strength for you.
Prayers for the strength to get through the next few weeks. Hopefully your boss is tasteful with her actions! HUGS!
Sending prayers for strength and courage for you!
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