If I had to use just one word for how I feel today, it would be broken. Yesterday was 3 months since we lost our firstborn child, our beautiful daughter. And now I can't stop crying. I will be ok, I just keep having to tell myself that (over and over and over and over).
I love this baby that I have in my womb right now so much it scares me, and all I can think is please don't let me lose this baby too because I am really not sure I could survive that. I will not be telling Chris that he would freak out. :-)
My HCG went up to 1687 & progesterone back up to 24.1 so yay! Good news. I really needed good news today.
My step-grandfather (maternal) has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks. Something to do with his bowels, they did a CAT scan yesterday and should be getting the results today to see if they need to discuss doing surgery. Surgery that he has only been given a 20% chance of surviving. He is in his mid to late 80's so I know his death is inevitible, but I am not sure how my grandmother will handle it. She's in her mid 70's but has Parkinson's really badly and can't live on her own. I have to call my mom tonight to find out what they know. I don't know what to pray for. His recovery of course, but he hasnt been well for months, so will he have a decent quality of life? I just dont know.
Just praying for peace for my grandmother no matter the outcome.
16 comments:
I too feel broken. Wishing the best for you and your baby on the way. xo
Good thoughts for your family through this tough time. What a sad situation all around. Great news on the beta rising more and the progesterone!!!
Praying for peace...
I remember crying my eyes out the morning of my first ultrasound with Cooper. I had already fallen in love with him and hadn't even seen a heartbeat yet! You do fall in love the very instant you find out about them!
Yay on the progesterone going up! Hubby has to keep giving you your shots in the right spot!
You can really only guess at how sad and excited you will be about a rainbow pregnancy until it happens. I have cried so many times during this pregnancy, just worrying and praying that everything is okay. You're normal - you're a mother who cares very desparately for her kids.
Hugs, and congrats! Thinking of your family.
Keeping you in my prayers!
I am thinking about you, you have alot on your plate. I'm so sorry about your loss, and about your grandfather..praying for you all.
In better news, your HCG and Progesterone levels are doing great..hang in there!
Sending prayers for you and your family.
Ali I have been thinking so much about you lately and hoping that everything goes smoothly for this pregnancy. I know how brokenhearted you have been since losing Cadynce and I'm praying extra hard for everything to work out perfectly for you. As for your grandmother and grandfather, wow. It's so hard when someone you love starts going downhill and you don't know what to pray for. If your grandpa isn't well and recovery won't be easy for him or his quality of life will be compromised, maybe the best thing to pray for is for What's best for both of them to happen. It might not be the answer or what you want, but asking God to give your grandparents what's best for each of them individually might be the best way to sort things out. No matter what happens, I'm sure your grandma will be taken care of. Sending you my love
*huge hugs* I can only imagine the emotion that comes along with a rainbow baby.
Sending prayers up for your grandfather and your grandmother. And of course you too!
Best of luck tomorrow with the u/s!
(((Hugs)))
Prayers!
Lots of prayers for you, I can't imagine what it would feel to be pregnant again. I will pray you strength.
Oh I am praying for you and this little one...and I am glad you got some good news!
Thank you for your support over my way. It has been overwhelming but wonderful to hear from so many people. Thank you!
Hugs. I'm so sorry Ali and it is still so recent. It must be such a mixture of emotions dealing with loss of your precious Cadynce and your new pregnancy. Hoping for you xo
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