Wednesday, October 28, 2009
TAR.GET
I went to tar.get today to return a maternity shirt i bought 2 days before we lost cady, and thought well lets check to see if C has deleted the registry while i am here. so of course he hadnt, asked the lady what i needed to do and she came and helped me, then i turned to her to say thank you and you could see it in her eyes. the pity the oh this poor woman. needless to say i went out to my car (not getting the things i needed while there) and lost it i cried for a good 10 minutes. i know that some people pity me, but its not pity i want. i want for you to say sorry for your loss and i want to talk about her. i know i may tear up and cry, but she is still my child even though she is not here. why do you act like it didnt happen. IT DID trust me i know it did. I have talked about her a couple of times at work since I have been back and except for a couple of people they act almost like I didn't say anything and that hurts, but not as much as the couple of people who havent even acknowledged my existence since I returned. I know it's because they dont know what to say, but all I need is a simple I'm sorry is that too much to ask, the cold shoulder just makes it hurt worse.
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3 comments:
Not that it is much consolation, but alot of people are afraid of death as my counselor tells me and they just can not imagine a baby dying if they haven't experianced it themselves. The idea of it is too scary so they attempt to avoid it all together. *hugs*
I told my hubby during the first few weeks after Lily died that I wished that people would just say "I'm sorry" and leave things at that...but, no, you get the pity look or better yet, the death cliches. I'm a Christian but if I heard one more time how God had a plan, I was going to explode!
A small blessing for me was that I had a c-section with Lily so I was out of work for 8 weeks so I had some time to gather myself. God love you for having to return to the normal world so quickly.
I think people just don't know what to say and are afraid to say the wrong thing and sometimes that's why they don't say anything at all. It's easier for them to avoid the situation than to risk inadvertantly hurting us. I don't think people in general mean to be rude or act like they are avoiding you, it's just that many, many people don't know how to deal with it. Sorry about your coworkers and the target lady. Hugs
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